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El remedio homeopático de la semana

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Rayos X homeopáticos

Uno de los mitos más populares acerca de la homeopatía (por supuesto convenientemente explotado por los homeópatas) es que consiste en la administración de medicamentos elaborados a base de plantas y otras sustancias naturales. A veces incluso es cierto, aunque el propio proceso de elaboración de los "remedios" haga que de esas plantitas no quede ni el menor rastro. Lo cual, teniendo en cuenta que muchas veces se trata de sustancias altamente tóxicas, es una suerte.

Pero en otras ocasiones los homeópatas recurren a "materias primas" tan improbables, inverosímiles o etéreas que cuesta creer que estemos realmente ante un remedio que se receta, vende y consume de verdad, y no ante una no demasiado hábil puesta en práctica de la ley de Poe.

Y ese es el caso del que traemos hoy como ejemplo: nada más y nada menos (sobre todo, nada menos) que los Rayos X homeopáticos.

Con lo de homeopáticos no quiero decir que te hagan una radiografía emitiendo una radiación de la cual los rayos X hayan sido cuidadosa y sucusivamente eliminados, no. Me refiero a lo que esta página denomina (sin que me conste que estén de coña) "una maravillosa medicina homeopática". Y maravillosa debe ser, por lo visto, teniendo en cuenta que sirve para dolores de diverso tipo, náuseas, pérdida del deseo sexual, picores (femeninos y masculinos) y hasta pieles secas y quebradizas.

 

 

¡Ah!, y también, traduzco literalmente,

 

reestablece la gonorrea suprimida

 

 

Lo cual la verdad me suena bastante mal, pero supongo que en el feliz mundo de la homeopatía esto será una cosa buena y deseable.

 

Por otra parte, no crean que esto es una cosa marginal, ni mucho menos. Como pueden comprobar con una simple búsqueda googlera, lo venden incluso los más, ejem, prestigiosos laboratorios homeopáticos.

 

 

Reconozco que no sé a ciencia cierta cómo se prepara el mejunje, aunque teniendo en cuenta el "modus operandi" de otros casos parecidos, supongo que será más o menos así: se irradia con rayos x una pequeña cantidad de lactosa y a continuación se diluye y empieza el consabido proceso de dilución, dinamización, dilución, dinaminación, etc, asegurando de la manera más eficaz posible que de la lactosa original no quede ni el menor rastro (y no les digo ya nada de los rayos X, claro). De todos modos eso no es problema: ya sabemos que el agua tiene memoria (y si no lo creen echen un vistazo a este artículo, que es probablemente el intento más serio y riguroso de explicar las propiedades cuánticas del agua dinamizada), así que seguro que se acuerda de todo perfectísimamente.

 

De modo que se echa el agua en unas pildoritas o gránulos y se dejan secar. Con lo cual, en resumidas cuentas, ni queda rastro de los rayos X, ni de la lactosa que los recibió, ni del agua en que fue disuelta. Lo único que queda es, según los homeópatas, "memoria", y según cualquiera que analice el proceso con un poquito de sentido común, pura y simple fe.

 

Fe que incluso ha dado lugar a que aparezcan aspectos colaterales del negocio. Por ejemplo, el hecho de que los rayos X sirvan para preparar potingues homeopáticos implica que también pueden afectar, de la misma forma mística, a los remedios ya preparados. Afortunadamente, como ya sabemos, en el mundillo de las creencias paranormales, cuando surge un problema imaginario siempre aparece una solución imaginativa. Y lucrativa, claro. Tal como ésta:

 

 

En fin, si este remedio les ha parecido estrafalario, esperen a ver el de la semana que viene (que da hasta miedo). Y recuerden, si a pesar de todo deciden comprar productos homeopáticos, háganlo en tiendas de toda confianza. Les recomiendo encarecidamente ésta:

 

 

Y no, no me llevo comisión, pero visítenla y comprenderán por qué la recomiendo. De nada.

Publicado el 01/03/2010 a las 00:21:27.

Comentarios

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